Where Has The Time Gone?

One word: procrastination. <----- That's ME!
Welcome to my life. 2 kids full time, 2 kids part time, new town, new house, MOVING - lots of stress! I have let stress get the best of me, for about a month now.
I was doing GREAT! Everything was going perfect, falling into place with my weight loss, and then we decided to move so my husband could take a wonderful new job offer!

So, we're back in the homeland of Wyoming y'all! (people don't say that here FYI)

I don't have a lot to say right now, because not very much is good. I'm not on track anymore (working on it) - my weight loss is already at a plateau (trying to fix it) - and it doesn't make me happy (REALLY working on the "being happy" part). So, I will post some current pictures, and that's about it.

YES, I have lost weight and you can tell a difference. BUT, I have also gained 7lbs back in the last month so I'm falling behind. BUT I WILL GET THERE!

I have to regroup, and get going! I will post more, when things are looking up, or I need to vent again.

Thanks so everybody who reads this! I promise, the next one will be great!

*see pictures below for current update*

Week 1: Must Move To Lose!

Wow! That was the longest week of my life (well, not really - but in present time). Who wants to start out their diet and learn the hardest lesson of their life on week 1? Not me! But that's what happened.

We'll start with reality and then I'll give you the good news so we end on a good note! :-)
I was ready to rock and roll Thursday morning! I had prepared the couple days before so I knew I had everything I needed to make this successful. I should say, had everything PREPARED to make this possible, but the mental process wasn't there yet. The first 2 days were a BREEZE! Lost 2 pounds and lost another pound just like that! Friday was my husbands birthday and I made him german chocolate cake (and I didn't even have a nibble!) and we had a delicious fish dinner. And the first couple of nights, it was very easy to head out for a walk after dinner.

....and then it was the dreaded, extremely busy, and time flying weekend! I completely lost track of time, ended up grabbing something awful for me on the way out the door - TOTALLY forgetting about the diet and eating healthy. My body was getting done with the original detox and I didn't follow the meal plan so closely over the weekend and I didn't walk at all like I should've, and I gained a 1/2lb back :-( I started getting very down on myself, but I said that if there was ever any weight gain, I would use that as my motivation and work out harder that day ... so that's exactly what I did!

I found a GREAT group of people in town, doing the same exact diet that I'm doing and struggling with the same things that I am struggling with - so I went to a work out class with them Monday evening. I wore the completely wrong tennishoes because my feet were on fire about 15 minutes into it, but overall, I was EXTREMELY impressed with myself that I stuck through the workout && ran 2 laps around the giant building after the workout. I then decided "it hurts so good" was exactly how I could describe that. It was great! Everybody was high fiving, and saying how proud they were of everybody and it was exactly the encouragement that I needed! I went home, bragging to my husband about how good I did && ran afterwards when nobody else did and of course, he was extremely proud of me too. I went to sleep that night with a smile on my face. Waking up Tuesday morning I said to myself "I squashed this shit and definitely lost enough to make up for the gain" - WRONG! I had gained ANOTHER pound!?!? I was PISSED! That started my 2 days of not so good days.

My 11 month old started getting sick that day, we had some good news coming in and things were starting to look up for us, and then some bad news came in. Tuesday was pretty much a blur. I know I had my couple of shakes and had some chicken for dinner, but my heart and sole wasn't into it all day and I went to bed without walking. I was pretty upset and down on myself when I woke up this morning and of course, I had gained 1/2 pound. I wasn't surprised. Last night was the first night EVER that I had to drive my child around to put her to sleep - I felt so sorry for my baby, but I was sooo exhausted! Thankfully she slept all night last night, but it was still a rough day. We pretty much sat around in our jammies today and watched TV. I started doing some research on my computer about the diet I have decided to follow, did some talking with my coach, and decided we're going to do a little bit of tweaking to my meal plan, and see how that works for me.

So, the moral is: Over the last week, I have lost 3lbs and 7 inches off my body!!! Hey - its atleast a loss, right?? It wasn't the numbers that I wanted, but I can now look back and see that just that one day, can turn everything around. My goal from here on out and conquering those bad days and making sure, without a doubt, that I'm doing right by myself and for my body to make this a success.

All and all, I do have to be proud of myself. I have not had ANY soda (in almost 3 weeks now) or ANY chocolate. I'm not a big water drinker, but it hasn't been hard for me to keep a water bottle with me at all times and before I know it, I've filled my bottle for the 5th or 6th time in the day - so that is a major plus for me!  I'm going into this week KNOWING that everything that I do, can and will affect my outcome. It is most successful for me to see a loss of weight, even very minimal, every morning when I step on that scale or it's easy for me to get discouraged. Does anybody have any advice on how I could conquer that when/if it happens again?

I hope that everybody has a great week and I will be posting again next Wednesday night after we weigh in and measure! Happy days to you!

<3 A

It's Go Time!

I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! And ... I've already started. Woke up this morning and it was go time! I've spent these last couple of weeks doing lots of research and making sure I had all of my homework together so I can start this journey the right way and be prepared to make sure I'm successful! I WILL NOT FAIL!

So .... weigh in this morning: 240.8lbs! UGH! That's disgusting!

But it IS the very last time I will EVER see that number on the scale. I have my support team - I have information coming out of my ears! I have the resources I need to get rid of the weight!

The Ultimate Goal: 140.8lbs! That's 100lbs folks! That's A LOT! But it WILL happen!

I'm attaching the awful before pictures. I decided that everything had to be out in the open. I wasn't going to hide behind my weight anymore and taking pictures and showing the world will mean that I have to hit this head on, and that's exactly what I'm doing.

1st Goal: 230lbs and I get a new pedicure! :)  I have come up with a beautiful chart system for everybody to see and my family and friends to celebrate with me (picture attached).
*please let me know some great ideas for rewards when I reach a certain goal. I'd love to hear what you think would be great motivation.

But - I'm starting. I have completed day 1 and I'm still alive and kicking! Actually, I did A LOT of housework today... something I've been completely slacking on. We've had some great news this week so tomorrow is Friday and we're ending on a great note and going to rock the weekend!

A little off topic, but I'm super excited that I have finally found a job!!! And, it's a job that I'm certain I will love and fit in well with. Maybe also a contributing factor to help me feel better about myself? I look forward to starting that next week and tonight, Cody and I interviewed with a preschool and daycare for Weston & Ryleigh and we fell in love! I'm very excited for them to start there ... I think it will be amazing for everybody!

So - I will be updating posts every week on weigh in day and keeping y'all updated on progress, struggles, and most importantly - the inches and weight I've lost! :) So excited for this and I hope you are too!!! Please pass on the page on to friends and please feel free to leave me feedback and encouraging comments! I need support thru this journey, and that's what you're here for.

Night night! <3

The Beginning of the End

Have you ever walked past a mirror and done everything in your power to make sure you didn't see yourself? That's me.
A women's love: shopping. Do you dread it? It's a depressing experience for me.

This is my first post on my new blog about my weight loss journey. I am not typically a very open person, especially about my personal feelings. Well, let's be totally honest here - I'm NOT open about my personal feelings. Not even with my own husband. Mainly because I think so negative of myself. When I would talk to Cody about my being overweight or not liking my clothes anymore, his response is always "honey you are beautiful" or "you look great in anything you wear." Shouldn't I be happy that he finds me beautiful? Yes, yes I should. But that's not enough for me. I don't find myself attractive and I definitely don't like everything that I wear. I wear it because I'm that big and it's the only thing that fits. I wear it because its big and baggy and hides things. I don't wear clothes to feel sexy and I don't look in mirrors because I'm completely ashamed of what I see.

My sister is an extremely wise and loving person. Her name is Ashley - she's my big sissy and she's somebody (one of the only people) I can talk to about anything. She's honest with me. She knows, just as I do, that I'm overweight and need to lose weight and be healthy. The greatest advise she ever gave me? 'You have to be happy with yourself and love yourself before anybody else can.' She's brilliant, that girl! ;) But she's completely right! She may have had to tell me that a thousand times, but I heard her this last time she said it and it clicked. I HATE MYSELF. I don't love myself. I don't love the person I've become and I definitely don't love what I've let myself look like. And only I can change that. <---- That's a hard lesson for me to learn. My husband can't be home with me 24/7 making sure I don't eat anything I'm not supposed to; The waitress at the restaurant isn't going to tell me I can't order that food because I'm fat. Oh, I hate that word!

So, bottom line is that it's up to ME! me. me. me. me. Me. Me. ME. ME. ME!!! I have to start this and I have to finish it. So I'm going to! And promise you, this will be the absolute hardest thing I have ever, ever done in my entire life! It won't be easy, there will be set backs I'm sure, but when I make it through this and step on that scale to see my ideal weight, I will have succeed at something that is a dream of mine right now. I have to make it a reality. I have to take control and get my life back.

I hope that you will follow me through this journey and if you're reading this - I hope you're here to support me. More details will come soon and more posts as well, but for now - I wanted to shout from the rooftop for the whole world to know ... I WILL BE FABULOUS AGAIN!!! <3